Its who we are, what we do and how we live. That is what Evol is

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A New Time

Now that mom is gone I am left wondering with all that has gone on in the past couple of years if my youngest still sees me as she portrayed me a few years ago. I guess I am feeling somewhere that I don't get yet. This may be the first time in Zeke's and I marriage that we will have some real down time. My oldest is moving to Cherry point NC when our son in law comes back and while I will miss them and our grandson I am excited for them to start a independent life.
My middle one is off and married and surprise so far it's lasted, you would have to know her she trends to be boy fickle.
My youngest (the artist) seems like she is wanting to push her world of mom and dad and do her own thing, which makes me very happy cause I think she has some gifts to give all of us.

So how this all relates to you all is I have been reading many of you in the past few days and was thinking (don't worry I don't think enough to be dangerous) when this came to me cause something was bugging me mostly reading the responses Dorsey got

Matthew 5 3-12
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I am not one who puts up Bible verses because they can be used to push a personal point of views out of the totality of the Bible. What can I say though I felt compelled.

I would much rather be any of the above then right in my own point of view because frankly my point of view, my understanding, my whatever is all junk. It's not God's so it is nothing. I can try to tackle all the complicated issue's I want but all I have all I own is myself and my actions. So I wonder how would we treat each other if we expected we were wrong and if we got it right once in a while just give the credit to God and move on. I bet we would listen much better to each other.

Which threads me back to mom

After her stroke her voice was very hard to hear and people who "cared" did not take the time to listen cause they were right before the conversations ever took place. What a shame because they missed a women who spent her life trying to make everything ok and right for others finally find her voice. I knew things about mom that no one else did cause I gave her a place without judgement and let her off the hook of protecting me. She became free as a person can be in this human body we live in and she was very cool. So listen you can be all safe in being right and live on your lonely controlled hilltop or you can really share this life with other people all of whom God created and died for. In the end it is His to pull weeds not us, He does not need us to do His job cause He knows the heart of man.

Mom Goodbye and thank you for allowing me to see you uncovered and without the armor built of the pain of this world you were beautiful in every way.

Go love now tomorrow may or may not come for any of us

Sunday, June 11, 2006

If your willing to pray

Then I wish to ask that you along with us ask our Father in heaven to either take Zeke's mom home or make her much better all of course within His perfect will. You see Zeke's mom would not want for anyone what she is going through. Very little out of 24 hours is she awake and she has lost the ability to move about at all on her own. Also she has times when understanding is not something she can grasp. God bless her she does not require huge levels of Morphine but I am praying that before that hellish cancer eating my body pain comes He will take her.

I believe God takes you home when no longer have anything left to do that benefits Him. If she does still have something to do that benefits the kingdom then so be it let her days be as God wishes them to be. But my gut is telling me she is here now because she is fighting worried about everyone else and a bit scared as we all would be. Forgive me if I am wrong I may be.

The practical reality is in the physical state she is in we can not take her home to Cali. So after almost 2 years of me mostly living in one state with our youngest and Zeke living in another , along with my limited health it is starting to become difficult to say the least about it as I don't want to appear complaining because that is not what it is about. It just is.

So I ask ..
Father in Christ name please take her home or make her better accepting your Will always, whatever it may be.

And if your inclined please pray also.

Thanks ahead of time

Your loved