I did it!

I did, and some think it's cool and some are going to say why in the (you know what) would you do that.

I don't know why some think its cool, I did not do it cause I thought it to be cool I did it cause it just seemed like me. To the ones who think it is very uncool ok it's not your bag but it is mine.

I did it cause it was my birthday gift to me on my 40th. So it's way late but at least I got it done right before the new year. I did it because some wired kind of thing happens when your 40 and at least for me it left me in two worlds, and I did not belong to either. Not belonging to either made me yearn to be more of who I am, how I see myself and how I want to be seen.

I did it because I wanted to remind myself I am alive, I am 3d, I am as creative as I allow myself to be, I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a women, I don't "fit" anywhere this world has to offer, I am a child of God and what I have done reminds me of that.

I did this because this next and last part of my life I want to be different but the same, I want to go deeper but not drown, I want more and I intend to be ok with that.

This what I did was very painful which means I am still breathing regardless of all the reasons I should not be.
This what I did is accepted by some whom the "church " does not accept, maybe I can be a type of church to them, well maybe not a church but a place they are accepted.
This what I did is not accepted by many as I am not but maybe it will produce a dialogue.

So this what I did is my declaration of some small sort. The last part of my life I declare will not be as the years before. I honestly intend to be more reckless and more of a risk taker in the matters of love then before.

Erik at ping said something via the phone and forgive I don't remember the words but I remember what they meant.
Dorsey at notmywill said something via the phone and again forgive me I don't remember the words but I remember what they meant.

So the cost is very, very high but I intend to love more.
My new nose piercing will remind me.

You are loved so just accept it