Its who we are, what we do and how we live. That is what Evol is

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Sisterhood of dumb

This post is gonna appear bitchy and it is.
If I never here "its my body and I can do what I want with it" again I will jump for joy. I am not talking about the abortion debate, I am talking about a response I got from another women in a conversation in her reply to me. Now let me say this is a pretty women but she dresses like its a party at Hugh's everyday and then had the nerve to bitch to me about how Neanderthal men are!
Let me set this up. Normal body, teeny tiny t-shirt, tummy exposed, pants low enough to see hip bones and purposeful showing of thong in back with high heels as she is saying this to me cause some guys expressed themselves. SO let me see if I got this right dress provocative and the blame the men. I am so tired of it.
Brittany, Madonna and the next big thing really make me ashamed sometimes to be a women, and I am not a wallflower in dress I am the women who thinks cranberry leather pants are fine to wear to church despite the stares, but I don't need to wear them 2 sizes to small or with a shirt that is cut to my belly button! Come on ladies what happened to classy which I hate to inform you of this fact the men I know find that much more attractive then the other. You are like it or not perceived often by the way you look and if you put it out there, some men are gonna accept the invitation.

In and office environment I have seen skirts so short sitting down was impossible without revealing what is meant to be hidden and then male coworkers chastised for looking. I don't mean gawking I mean looking without much thought and then looking away embarrassed. Better still after the other women in the office chastised the men they all sat around like hens talking about the women with the short skirt. Please!
See I have to deal with the perception you create. Being a women I get enough invasion of my personal space as it is I don't need your help ladies. I want the men who may be small sighted not to think every women they see is a sex starved kitten just waiting for them. Could we just stop feeding the monster.
Since you say its your body then please stop sharing it with me. Guys my apologies for my sisters.
Zeke I am only wearing sweats from now on 8 sizes to big and I am shaving my head too


At 4:34 AM, Blogger dorsey said...

So, uh...would you like me to talk to your friend? I mean, if you think it would help...[/naughtyboy]

Ok, I meant that to be funny and playful, then I remembered that I have daughters (d'ooh!), and there's no shortage of pressure from this culture for my 13 year old to array herself like a whore (I say that with love and grace to any whores who might be reading this.).

My wife (a beautiful and modest woman, see Proverbs 31 for her description) always tells my daughters, nieces, and the girls in her teen Sunday School class, "If it's not for sale, what's the point in advertising it?"

Like you, I don't understand women who go out of their way to display their goods and get mad when someone looks. That's like a car dealer who puts his shiny new cars out next to the street surrounded with balloons, streamers and banners, and then gets offended that you're interested in a test-drive.

At 6:24 AM, Blogger Zeke said...

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. -Prov 11:22

At 9:23 AM, Blogger Mrs Zeke said...

Well I guess I am being kinda selfish. Shame on me I cared little about the women and more about the effect I realize.

Dorsey you and I both have daughters and I hate the pressure they are under. I further hate that there are some men and women out there who find it necessary to invade like a crowded line used as an opportunity. When they do that to my daughters I would like to have a gun.

I am not saying its her or others fault but the reality is they don't help.

Its sad! Missy and I hold hands sometimes when walking and you would not believe some of the comments and /or request we get. We can't even do that without it being viewed wrong.

Dorsey I am waiting for the book :)

At 10:58 PM, Blogger Mrs Zeke said...

Sure thing Jeff, but if it puts out your only good eye you can't sue me :)

At 11:03 PM, Blogger Jekk said...

I find, being at a college deemed to have the hottest girls around (just walk downtown on a friday night), I see plenty of this. And talking/knowing some of them, I find that there is usually something unhealthy about why they dress a certain way. As in, it's not just me wanting to get mad at them for causing way too much temptation for an already tempted environment, but I feel sad for them.

This is how they find love. They need to be accepted physically. They base so much of their own worth on what reactions they can get from guys. It's really sad.

So lately, I try to turn my condemnation of things into something more postivie... loving people for who they are besides what's bothering me about them. I'll also keep them in prayer about said thing, if I know it's probably not good for them (ie- dressing like a hooker).

The deeper hurts and unhealthiness are usually to blame, and they need rooted out and dealt with through prayer, love, and best of all, example.

At 8:30 AM, Blogger Mrs Zeke said...

awww yes Jekk your right. I am looking at it from a selfish point of view. While I know the worlds problems are not upon my sisters who dress in ways that are sexual I am fighting the result of the kind of attention they tend to stir up along with the "tude" its a right is what is bothering me.

I know the effect it has, I used to be a stripper I have seen how easy it is to take someone walking on thin ice already using sexuality to make them fall through. I know men right now who are struggling not to have affairs because they are isolated and feel rejected in there marriages and I know how very easy it would be to manipulate the situation using the body and sexuality. Women approach them all the time.

However I know that just cause you dress a certain way does not mean you are a certain way sorta, because I don't believe you are not completely separate from what you do. We want freedom but do we want to be responsible for that freedom?
I don't care how someone is dressed so much as I care that they are unwilling to take the consequences for it. I care that my daughters live in such a sexualized place that it some circles it is almost a viewed as a right to infringe and unburden your wants on them or me because "I can do want I want" that is what I care more about.

In our youth group I actually had a boy come to me and say "I am having a hard time keeping my mind on worship because of so and so's short skirts" A very pretty young girl found much delight in dressing in way that made a stumbling block for our teenage boys. I spoke with her and got the same response. Having lived in some of the dark places I have I know that most come from a place your speaking of, but I also know some do not and know exactly what they are doing and find delight in it.

I am really trying to find a balance between loving and protecting, Zeke and I take people's young "rejects" and the damage from the everything is ok sexual message is hard to break while the consequences extremely pricey to pay. So where is the balance between understanding, loving and protecting from the harm that will be done?

Take Care of yourself you have so much value


Post a Comment

<< Home